Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz Review

Overall Score: 7.5

Pros: Addictive, Fun party game, Trippy scenery

Cons: Music makes me want to kill myself, Absurd story, Addictive

 

On the back of the Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz packaging it clearly states, “WARNING: If you have epilepsy or have had seizures or other unusual reactions to flashing lights or patterns, consult a doctor before playing this game.” That gives you some idea what we are talking about. It is one of those really weird Asian games with a lot of bright colors flashing and annoying noises that will drive you crazy. You will probably hate this game if you only play shooter games or sports games. That being said, I am addicted to this game. There is something lovable about it even though it’s annoying as all hell. The “plot” is that a Robotic Pirate-Monkey with a golden claw steals a bunch of golden bananas from the innocent happy little monkeys, and it is their job to get them back. To do this, they get in a ball, like a hamster, and maneuver through impossible obstacles and fight monsters. It might make sense if you’re on heavy hallucinogenic drugs. This game might sound easy, but it’s rather hard and frustrating. There have been many times where I threw the Wii-mote at something because I couldn’t get the monkey in the @%^$ing hole. The boss levels are hard too, especially that octopus. Anyway, this game is good for the casual gamer. You can stop wherever and it automatically saves your progress, and each little level doesn’t take more than a few minutes (it can’t, they are timed). Also, it’s a good party game. Other than the main game, Banana Blitz has 50 party games on it, which mostly involves bashing your opponents. It is frustrating enough that your friends will get into it, but cute enough that it won’t start any real fights. It’s a good game to play if you’re bored or angry. Anyway, to sum it up, it’s very hard to give it a score.

Bottom line: It’s a love-it or hate-it situation. So, I think the individual has to decide for him or herself. My friends and I love it, so if you’re ever really bored, go rent it and give it a go.

Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess Review

Overall Rating: 8.5

Pros: It’s Legend of Zelda, Engaging story, Fun and interactive Controls

Cons: Hard, Long, Stupid Puzzles
The newest edition to the Legend of Zelda clan, Twilight Princess, is a must-have for Wii owners. Of course, the manual is also a must-have if you want to accomplish anything in this game (it has the ape-@*&# ridiculous logic characteristic of Zelda games). I couldn’t even figure out how to get out of the first village. You don’t have to buy a guide though. Google “Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess Guide” and it will help you get through everything irrational. In the game, a teenage village-boy named Link tries to defend his world, Hyrule, from a shadow land that is taking over. The human citizens trapped in this world are part of a never-ending nightmare that they don’t understand; none of them can see the shadow monsters terrorizing them. Link, being the chosen one, can not only see them, but can attack them as well. However, when he enters the shadow world, he is transformed into a wolf. This limits his use of tools, but it is badass. Also, Link has a devious shadow-being helper, Midna, to help him along the way. Overall the game is pretty good. Some of the puzzles are annoyingly long and difficult, even with the guide. Also, it really sucks if you don’t have a computer in the same room as your Wii, because you will have to keep running from one room to the other to figure out what to do. This game isn’t for the casual gamer. Temples alone can take hours to complete and you can’t stop in the middle of a temple or you completely loose your train of thought. By the end, I had logged 70 odd hours into it, and I did it with the guide next to me. Also, when you first meet Midna, she is really condescending, and you will want to chew her face off. But she gets better, trust me; you will like her before the game is over. On the plus side, the game certainly keeps you entertained if you’re bored. It’s fun to play and its certainly challenging. Transforming into a wolf is sweet because you can bite shit and throw it around. You can also run a lot faster, saving time. Also, with the edition of the Wii-mote, shooting arrows and slashing things is more entertaining than with previous Zelda games. Also, the ending is pretty awesome. It makes the game worth beating. Seeing as how Twilight Princess is not quite as stunning as The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I can’t give it 10 out of 10. However, I will give it an 8.5.

Bottom line: It is one of the better Zelda games out there. Definitely worth a play.