Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess Review

Overall Rating: 8.5

Pros: It’s Legend of Zelda, Engaging story, Fun and interactive Controls

Cons: Hard, Long, Stupid Puzzles
The newest edition to the Legend of Zelda clan, Twilight Princess, is a must-have for Wii owners. Of course, the manual is also a must-have if you want to accomplish anything in this game (it has the ape-@*&# ridiculous logic characteristic of Zelda games). I couldn’t even figure out how to get out of the first village. You don’t have to buy a guide though. Google “Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess Guide” and it will help you get through everything irrational. In the game, a teenage village-boy named Link tries to defend his world, Hyrule, from a shadow land that is taking over. The human citizens trapped in this world are part of a never-ending nightmare that they don’t understand; none of them can see the shadow monsters terrorizing them. Link, being the chosen one, can not only see them, but can attack them as well. However, when he enters the shadow world, he is transformed into a wolf. This limits his use of tools, but it is badass. Also, Link has a devious shadow-being helper, Midna, to help him along the way. Overall the game is pretty good. Some of the puzzles are annoyingly long and difficult, even with the guide. Also, it really sucks if you don’t have a computer in the same room as your Wii, because you will have to keep running from one room to the other to figure out what to do. This game isn’t for the casual gamer. Temples alone can take hours to complete and you can’t stop in the middle of a temple or you completely loose your train of thought. By the end, I had logged 70 odd hours into it, and I did it with the guide next to me. Also, when you first meet Midna, she is really condescending, and you will want to chew her face off. But she gets better, trust me; you will like her before the game is over. On the plus side, the game certainly keeps you entertained if you’re bored. It’s fun to play and its certainly challenging. Transforming into a wolf is sweet because you can bite shit and throw it around. You can also run a lot faster, saving time. Also, with the edition of the Wii-mote, shooting arrows and slashing things is more entertaining than with previous Zelda games. Also, the ending is pretty awesome. It makes the game worth beating. Seeing as how Twilight Princess is not quite as stunning as The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I can’t give it 10 out of 10. However, I will give it an 8.5.

Bottom line: It is one of the better Zelda games out there. Definitely worth a play.


Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Review

Overall Score: 9.7

Pros: Amazing story, innovative puzzle style, exceptional combat system

Cons: Damn owl, some puzzles too hard

As far as old Nintendo 64 games go, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is a masterpiece. It has made numerous “Greatest Games of All Time” lists for a reason; it’s f@#$ing awesome. If you have never heard of The Legend of Zelda, I honestly don’t know why you’re reading this review site. But just in case you’re a f@#$ing cave troll, Link, the chosen one, is destined to save Hyrule and Princess Zelda from the evil Ganadorf once again. The story might sound simple and juvenile, but players find it engaging. It has a degree of complexity that keeps you hooked. The temples are challenging and entertaining, except for the water temple which made me want to pull my hair out because it is too hard. Even side games that would be tedious in some games are interesting in this one. Getting Epona is one of the most fun things you can do in this game. It’s actually hard to find something bad to say about it. Being for the N64, the graphics, compared to today’s, are lacking. Also, because of the inhuman logic, it is very hard to complete without a guide (which you can now find online). And, the worst thing about the game, the owl pissed me off constantly. He tries to trick you into listening to his pointless tips, and you can’t get away or kill him. The game would be immaculate if you could just kill the owl.

Bottom line: This is one of the few games that everyone knows and loves; if you haven’t played it yet, you MUST go out and play it NOW.