Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz Review

Overall Score: 7.5

Pros: Addictive, Fun party game, Trippy scenery

Cons: Music makes me want to kill myself, Absurd story, Addictive


On the back of the Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz packaging it clearly states, “WARNING: If you have epilepsy or have had seizures or other unusual reactions to flashing lights or patterns, consult a doctor before playing this game.” That gives you some idea what we are talking about. It is one of those really weird Asian games with a lot of bright colors flashing and annoying noises that will drive you crazy. You will probably hate this game if you only play shooter games or sports games. That being said, I am addicted to this game. There is something lovable about it even though it’s annoying as all hell. The “plot” is that a Robotic Pirate-Monkey with a golden claw steals a bunch of golden bananas from the innocent happy little monkeys, and it is their job to get them back. To do this, they get in a ball, like a hamster, and maneuver through impossible obstacles and fight monsters. It might make sense if you’re on heavy hallucinogenic drugs. This game might sound easy, but it’s rather hard and frustrating. There have been many times where I threw the Wii-mote at something because I couldn’t get the monkey in the @%^$ing hole. The boss levels are hard too, especially that octopus. Anyway, this game is good for the casual gamer. You can stop wherever and it automatically saves your progress, and each little level doesn’t take more than a few minutes (it can’t, they are timed). Also, it’s a good party game. Other than the main game, Banana Blitz has 50 party games on it, which mostly involves bashing your opponents. It is frustrating enough that your friends will get into it, but cute enough that it won’t start any real fights. It’s a good game to play if you’re bored or angry. Anyway, to sum it up, it’s very hard to give it a score.

Bottom line: It’s a love-it or hate-it situation. So, I think the individual has to decide for him or herself. My friends and I love it, so if you’re ever really bored, go rent it and give it a go.


Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess Review

Overall Rating: 8.5

Pros: It’s Legend of Zelda, Engaging story, Fun and interactive Controls

Cons: Hard, Long, Stupid Puzzles
The newest edition to the Legend of Zelda clan, Twilight Princess, is a must-have for Wii owners. Of course, the manual is also a must-have if you want to accomplish anything in this game (it has the ape-@*&# ridiculous logic characteristic of Zelda games). I couldn’t even figure out how to get out of the first village. You don’t have to buy a guide though. Google “Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess Guide” and it will help you get through everything irrational. In the game, a teenage village-boy named Link tries to defend his world, Hyrule, from a shadow land that is taking over. The human citizens trapped in this world are part of a never-ending nightmare that they don’t understand; none of them can see the shadow monsters terrorizing them. Link, being the chosen one, can not only see them, but can attack them as well. However, when he enters the shadow world, he is transformed into a wolf. This limits his use of tools, but it is badass. Also, Link has a devious shadow-being helper, Midna, to help him along the way. Overall the game is pretty good. Some of the puzzles are annoyingly long and difficult, even with the guide. Also, it really sucks if you don’t have a computer in the same room as your Wii, because you will have to keep running from one room to the other to figure out what to do. This game isn’t for the casual gamer. Temples alone can take hours to complete and you can’t stop in the middle of a temple or you completely loose your train of thought. By the end, I had logged 70 odd hours into it, and I did it with the guide next to me. Also, when you first meet Midna, she is really condescending, and you will want to chew her face off. But she gets better, trust me; you will like her before the game is over. On the plus side, the game certainly keeps you entertained if you’re bored. It’s fun to play and its certainly challenging. Transforming into a wolf is sweet because you can bite shit and throw it around. You can also run a lot faster, saving time. Also, with the edition of the Wii-mote, shooting arrows and slashing things is more entertaining than with previous Zelda games. Also, the ending is pretty awesome. It makes the game worth beating. Seeing as how Twilight Princess is not quite as stunning as The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I can’t give it 10 out of 10. However, I will give it an 8.5.

Bottom line: It is one of the better Zelda games out there. Definitely worth a play.

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare Review
Overall Rating: 8.7
Pros: Great story, Awesome multi-player, Kickin’ graphics
Cons: Terrible AI, Can’t open doors???, boring linear levels, innovative idea but poorly executed
    Infinity Ward, to the joy of gamers everywhere, decided to switch up the story of their award winning title, Call of Duty. Call of Duty 4 is not only set in modern day, but it is the first of the series to get a Mature ESRB rating. CoD4 uses the familiar cinematic storyline. It follows the lives of “Soap” MacTavish from the British SAS, and Paul Jackson from the USMC. There are other instances when the story switches to other characters in order to tell the story. The racing, testosterone-packed story is backed up by intense firefights in which you kick the asses of the Arab Ultranationalists. However, there is poor execution here by the AI. They offer little support in intense firefights and constantly bark orders at you. As a result, there is little deviation and there is usually only one way to accomplish a mission. And, you are babied through it most of the time. Somehow Infinity Ward left out the ability for you to open doors by yourself. So, you must either wait by the correct door for the team to catch up with you, or try and find them. Multi player uses a weighted class system. There are five default classes with cliche abilities such as sniper, heavy gunner, and demolitions. As you gain a higher rank other classes are unlocked, and once a certain level is reached you can create your own class. A nice touch allowing you to play to your personal style of combat. XP is earned by completing objectives and killing enemies. It works like every other game. More XP, higher rank. It’s a blast to play games of Deathmatch, Free-for-all, and sabotage. Infinity Ward made up some serious points with the multi player aspect of CoD4.
Bottomline: If you are looking for a easy shooter, Call of Duty 4 is worth a rental. If you like to play online, it’s worth a buy.

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Review

Overall Score: 9.7

Pros: Amazing story, innovative puzzle style, exceptional combat system

Cons: Damn owl, some puzzles too hard

As far as old Nintendo 64 games go, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is a masterpiece. It has made numerous “Greatest Games of All Time” lists for a reason; it’s f@#$ing awesome. If you have never heard of The Legend of Zelda, I honestly don’t know why you’re reading this review site. But just in case you’re a f@#$ing cave troll, Link, the chosen one, is destined to save Hyrule and Princess Zelda from the evil Ganadorf once again. The story might sound simple and juvenile, but players find it engaging. It has a degree of complexity that keeps you hooked. The temples are challenging and entertaining, except for the water temple which made me want to pull my hair out because it is too hard. Even side games that would be tedious in some games are interesting in this one. Getting Epona is one of the most fun things you can do in this game. It’s actually hard to find something bad to say about it. Being for the N64, the graphics, compared to today’s, are lacking. Also, because of the inhuman logic, it is very hard to complete without a guide (which you can now find online). And, the worst thing about the game, the owl pissed me off constantly. He tries to trick you into listening to his pointless tips, and you can’t get away or kill him. The game would be immaculate if you could just kill the owl.

Bottom line: This is one of the few games that everyone knows and loves; if you haven’t played it yet, you MUST go out and play it NOW.

World in Conflict Review

December 15, 2007

World in Conflict Review



Overall: 9.1/10


Pros: Great Story, Directx 10, solid controls, outstanding multi-player


Cons: Shady AI movement, repetitive responses from NPC’s, story seemed a little short


World in Conflict(WiC) throws your right in to World War III; but, don’t start judging it right away. Sure, that’s a cliche genre for a video game. However, WiC has put a new spin on the story. It’s 1989, and instead of ending the cold war the Russians have invaded Seattle and started wreaking havoc on U.S. soil. It’s your job to fight them off to save the United States from the iron fist of communism. The control are basically the same in any type of RTS. You have several different types of vehicles, infantry, and air crafts each with its own special attacks. The developers made a smart move here and didn’t make any radical changes in controls. Therefore, the learning curve for WiC is very shallow. Anyone who has ever played an RTS will feel right at home. One of my biggest gripes is that whenever you click on a new unit it identifies itself. Now, that’s not a big deal, but I wanted to throw my mouse through the screen if I heard “Need a number 2 now!?” one more time. Also, when directing units, they seem to take the longest possible route to get to the destination, and they often get crammed up on one another in front of building, trees, and mountains. There are two different way to have the units move, but toggling this seems to yield the same results. Where WiC lacks in mediocre AI, it makes up in an action packed story. Each mission has a purpose, and there are very few missions with annoying time limits.  Missions mainly consist of destroying strategic points, occupying and holding positions, and of course killing commies. The story feels a little short at about 6-8 hrs, however, there’s no limit to how many hours you can log in online multi-player. Bottomline, if you are looking for a kick-ass/take names RTS title, pick up WiC now.